Would you be interested in some excellent Parenting Tips to find out and nurture your curiosity about how to deal with moody or difficult children?
Dear parents or new parents,
Would you mean it to find out the root cause of moody or difficult children? Pleas stay with me till the end to find out. As we are commencing our new journey of parenting there are many challenges and difficulties which we may face.
Parenting style differs from one parent to the other. Same as the personality and what things we value the most to ourselves and our family. We may have seen many different parenting styles and types. We may have seen many parents with too much strict rules. While we may have also seen some with too much freedom of choice.
To me neither of these types of parenting styles sound correct. I think this way because if we are too much strict with them and say no to whatever they do or ask, the result would be nothing but negative. If we are too much easy going with them and leave them free, it is not good either because they will grow with no rules and no boundaries. Here is what, we must always think in being moderate with them. Neither too strict nor too easy going.
We may all experience different stages in which we find ourselves with joys and passion of being parents. We should know this also that it is a journey full of struggles and challenges. Specially if you are dealing with moody or difficult children.
It is always different from our first child to the next one. I have seen some parents who are wondering and very worried about the fact that their first child was like an angel but the second one is nothing like the first one. In parenting, the first thing which fails us is comparison. The day when we are able to realize and understand that and tell ourselves that all my children have come to this world uniquely, only then we are able to treat them in that unique way.
There are many different parenting styles but the main three are:
Authoritative parents are authoritative and responsive. This parenting style is more of child-centered approach with higher expectation of maturity. Authoritative parents give freedom to their children to learn and explore their surroundings but they also set boundaries and limits. Besides, they ensure in setting healthy limits in their freedom.
The responsiveness and presence of these parents result in good self-esteem to their children. It also help with the autonomy of their children. These children are often very self reliant and confident. Authoritative parent’s children are more liked and appreciated among their friends, classmates and the rest of school friends other than classmates. Their positivity, generosity and self-determination are the causes of being more lovable among those in their surroundings. It results a better and positive environment in that community and eventually the society.
In this parenting style, children are given freedom to take the decision based on their reasoning and logical thinking. However, in cases of mistakes often they are more forgiving but they also set punishment in form of consequences, not by spanking and raising their voice. In this parenting style children are more likely to experience the natural consequences and learn through that.
Studies have shown that children of Authoritative parents are more successful in their school studies and become more successful later in their collage and higher education’s degree achievements.
Parents with this style of parenting are demanding but not responsive. They are very strict and practice highly heavy-punishments in the form of spanking and shouting on their children. Authoritarian parents expect their children to listen to them with no questions asked and no feedbacks given or explained.
These parents are very aggressive towards their children. They lack responsiveness and do not bond with their children. These parents have very high expectation of their children as showing the attitude of an adult. They often tread their children as adults by expecting more maturity.
The kind of children that Authoritarian parents produce are highly obedient, very quite, have very low self-esteem and often are angry or depressed. These habits are then transformed from their childhood to their adulthood. This parenting style results in more suicide risks for the children. Authoritarian parenting style is more likely to be seen among the countries which are lift in poverty and war for many decades. Thus, the negativity, stress, depression which are surrounding the society appears in the families as well. Specially in parenting.
In Permissive style parenting, parents are very involved with their children but have very few behavioral expectations. They are responsive but not demanding. They set very few or no rules at all. These parents are like friends to their children and often give their children advices as a friend rather than a parent.
In this style of parenting, as parents set very few or no rules for the children to follow; often children face behavioral problems, immaturity and lack self discipline. In this style of parenting, there are more chances of drug and alcohol consumptions for their adolescents. This kind of situations are due to the limitless freedom and no rules and boundaries set. These children once adults can adjust with their life eventually and move on.
Now that we have gone through the main styles of parenting, lets focus on some Parenting Tips on how to prevent our children from childhood, in order to not raise moody or difficult children.
Parenting Tips for Infants:
- If your infant cries, know that here is a reason behind it for sure.
- Infants express their emotions through crying.
- As body and mind are connected through the nervous system, your infant’s body due to discomfort signals the brain to take action.
- The action shows in form of crying could be due to hanger, thirst, wet diaper, sleep time, stomach pain etc…
- As parents our responsibility is to response before they get to crying.
- If they are raised in such way, chances are that growing up they will not be moody or difficult.
- If parents fail to response before they start crying, it is going to become a habit for the child which then results in being moody and difficult.
- Talk to your infant as much as possible. Use little opportunities to express through words as well as interactions.
- Listen to your own guts rather than seeking older member’s advice or else research from Google and some other reliable resources. There is nothing wrong in asking others. Through your research, you will be able to take a more educative decision. Time changes so as human knowledge updates as well.
- Read bed time stories on a regular basis to enhance your child’s language development. It will then help the child to start to speak at the required normal age. There won’t be any language delays.
Parenting Tips for Toddlers:
- Speaking softly to your toddlers is a way in which they learn and adapt that softness in their speech.
- Talking and interacting with them in a respective manner, teach them to be respectful towards others.
- Practicing gratitude and thanking them for their good deeds, teach them to be thankful to others.
- Forgiving them for their little mistakes and explaining the consequences in kind words without getting emotional and raising your voice, allow them to be forgiving and tolerant to others.
- Engaging with them through different physical and mental activities, help them in adapting an engaging personality which will then be an asset for their own children and family.
- Bonding with your toddler through bed time story reading, will help them have a strong sense of feeling of being supported, highly positive emotional feeling and strong self-esteem. This bonding will facilitate them in better communicating with you when help is needed. They will not hide anything from you thinking that you may get upset because they feel comfortable to express their feelings to you and let you know about their difficulties.
- Toddlers often express their feelings in different ways rather than talking and putting those emotions into words. As parents if we have taught them since the very early ages how to communicate and express our feelings, growing they will continue to have that habit.
- Most toddlers make an angry face rather than talking. While some remains calm for hours and do not talk to anyone by getting some distance. In this kind of situations, the only thing which works is a sweet talk by hugging them close to your heart. Putting them in punishment and raising your voice will do no good but in the contraire it even cause in worsening the situation.
- If parents fail to positively and effectively handle above mentioned situations, children will experience the same over and over again. Then it will become a recurring habit for them.
- Educate and prepare them for school by choosing a perfect timing in your days, in which you are mentally prepared, relaxed and in best mood.
Top 10 Parenting Tips for children:
- Love them, to be loved.
- Respect them in order to receive respect back for yourself.
- Kindness being seen from you, turns them to a kind individual.
- Forgiveness allows them to feel powerful, by forgiving others.
- Trust, lets them to trust you and those who surround them.
- Responsiveness teaches them to be present and mindful of others in their surroundings.
- Engaging with them, will build in them that kind of engaging personality.
- Bonding with them results in strong, healthy and positive relationship. In which you’re highly trusted.
- Expressing with words and 0 emotions, help your children in developing a positive mind and character.
- Freedom in moderation, will allow them to have self confidence and results in good mental health.
Parenting Tips for Moody or Difficult Children:
- Speak softly, slowly and sweetly.
- Allow them to express.
- Listen to them very attentively.
- Have eye contact with them.
- Show sympathy in a genuine and honest way, never sarcastic.
- Bend down yourself to the height level of your child.
- Hold their hands very softly and rabe for 15 seconds.
- Once they feel better, ask them for a hug. Hold your child gently close to your heart for 30 seconds.
- Wisper them in their ears in a soft voice that you love them.
- Ask for their promise to talk using words in future rather than being moody, upset and difficult.
- Avoid raising your voice or shouting.
- Never argue with them.
- Never spank them.
- Never ask them to shut without listening to them.
- Do not ask them to leave the house for misbehaving.
- Do not let them cry for extensive and continues hours.
- Time outs make them worse. Never ask for time outs.
- Not controlling yourself and start getting aggressive and emotional, makes the situation worse.
- If your child leave the house and run on the streets while screaming, follow them to insure their safety.
- If you think you need more guidance and intense coaching, listen to your guts and seek for more help through different helpful and effective resources.
In today’s world we are very well educated, we seek more help to learn about anger management and do not tolerate any kind of violence, be it domestic violence or child abuse or any other form of violence.
Bellow are some resources which I have chosen to share with you to help you in those kinds of situations. If you think that you need some classes, you should definitely listen to your inner-self and join immediately.
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I make a small commission off purchases, at no extra cost to you. Read my full disclosure here. Thank you for supporting the work I put on this site!”
Here, as you can see below is a site where you could find some excellent books about anger, fears, anxiety an jealousy.
Parenting Tips for Preschoolers:
- Read books to your child from an early age.
- Use every opportunities to read and show everywhere while holding the child into your arms. While travelling, use the opportunity to read the signs and show the popular places and read its signs.
- Use every opportunities to count to your baby. You could start it from a very early age. Have some numbers on your wall like posters and just pass by those posters on a regular basis by pointing at them through reading.
- Use some colorful physical objects to count with your baby. Like numbered blocks etc.
- Once your child is old enough to start walking, ask them to bring you a block. Call the block by its number or color. Your child may not be able to talk but they already understand you and will bring it for you. As you have been practicing with him / her.
- Teach your child how to color by using thick markers or colors which will be easy for them to hold. Also teach them how to hold a marker or pencil for drawing. Sketch some thick lines and ask your child to start drawing inside the line and insist in not surpassing the lines. At first it will sound difficult for them but eventually they will learn.
- Draw thick lines and ask your child to cut on the lines. Monitor them while cutting and teach them how to cut by using a small and safely designed scissors.
- Cutting on the line, drawing a picture in between the lines and playing with the pen safely to not pass the lines help them in better developing their fine motor skills.
- Find some flat toys and place them on the floor surface to jump. Later on as your child grows, gradually change the size to a little bit higher and ask them to jump. This activity helps them in building an excellent gross motor skills, it immensely help strengthen their legs muscles as well as physical growth.
- Keep increasing the height of the object as he grows stronger and older. Doing so will challenge them more. This activity will also help your child’s brain in better calculating the height of the object and take a good decision on how high to jump. Therefore, through practicing this activity, they will develop a better decision making and problem solving skills.
- Prior to starting school, your home is their first daycare or school and you are their first teacher, educator and life -long coach.
- The first 5 years of life in all children are the critically important period of proper and healthy growth, development of the brain in a positive and playful environment and development of language beside mental calculation.
Parenting Tips for Teenagers:
- Think like your teenager before responding them. Put yourself into their place and feel how they feel.
- Beside being a parent, be the best friend of your Teenager.
- Have you been transparent to them since their early ages? Think of this before you expect them to not to hide things from you.
- Build that kind of bonding and relationship to your child since their early ages. So that as teenagers, they trust you and share with you rather than hiding.
- What makes children to hide things? If we think like a child, in their brain they say, “If I do so, my parents will get upset”. Have we gained their trust? Could they trust us by telling us?
- Before we let fear destroy their life, we are better to create that sense of comfort so that with no fear they can tell us anything they want to.
- Remember the not hiding formula will save your child from many harmful experiences and situations once teenagers because they have a guide (you) every step of the way to guide them.
- Spend with them quality time so that they adapt that warmth and responsiveness from you. Unlike some teenagers to lock themselves in their room and only say hi and bye like a neighbor.
- At the age of 12 or even earlier if they ask questions on the topic of drug or alcohol or any other things, do not tell them not to do directly. Instead explain all the negative aspects of it and of course positive as well if any. Let your teenager to think and resonate and ask questions. Once they ask questions, explain them very clearly, truly and honestly. If your teenager likes reading, pull out a research topic and set together with them by saying let’s learn both of us. You say, ”I want to learn what it does to my lungs and other body parts”.
- Do not leave them free to go anywhere they like and do not play very strict with them to hold them at home only. Chose a proper time of the day and allow them to go outside of the house by insuring their safety as well as in a good company, if he choses to go with some friends.
- Know their friends and try to have the numbers of their parents. It is also a good thing to have a good relationship with their parents and try to know if your teenager is safe around those friends.
- In case if your teenager have a bad company of a bad friend, do not tell them directly to stop seeing that friend. In children’s psychology, if you tell directly your children not to do certain things, they will get curious about it and do it again and again. Children think that it doesn’t do anything bad to me and I am enjoying it so why not to do it. Why my parents ask me not to do it? Instead if you ask effective questions about that friend in a good and friendly manner rather than spying or controlling way, they will respond you in that manner for sure. The best part is that they find the solutions in their own answers.
- Your children are like your own reflection from the mirror. Anything you feed in their brain during childhood, growing up they become that exact person which you made them. Then why complain from them? Reflect to your own interactions and responses before complaining.
- Nothing in the world makes a child moody or difficult unless they are grown and raised this way. I am not against parent’s behaviors and am very well aware that no parent in the entire world would want bad for their children. I am also very well aware that each and every parents are different so do their parenting style. What I am trying to say is that we teach our children through our daily normal conscious and subconscious behaviors, responses and interactions.
- You came from work very tired and frustrated, you know your responsibility is helping your children with their homework. You’re a very responsible parent and you are helping them but your tiredness, frustration and stress is transferring to your child’s brain through the tone of your voice, subconsciously. The repetition of this action on a regular basis results in children in being moody or difficult.
Bellow are some books and a game which I think would be a good thing to refer to. They are about the emotional behavior of teenagers. You could find some strategies about (how to deal with moody and difficult teenagers) and in general the psychology of social and emotional behaviors. I hope you like them and that it helps you.
|This post may contain affiliate links, which means I make a small commission off purchases, at no extra cost to you. Read my full disclosure here. Thank you for supporting the work I put on this site!|
Thank you very much for your time in reading this article. So sorry if it hurts your eyes. I have a good reason behind this over 3000 words article. My goal is to reach out to millions of people so that among them hopefully it reaches to those families where moody or difficult children are being treated as not normal or different. I truly pray and wish that it solves many problems by educating, it saves many lives and help our world to be a better place to live.